Wednesday, 16 June 2010

febrile convulsions

so today molly had a seizure. it was completely terrifying. i had my first ever ride in an ambulance. not something i ever hope to repeat.

it's called a "febrile convulsion" and is apparently quite common. she's staying overnight in hospital and should be discharged tomorrow.

i got a phone call from canada, her father. first i've heard from him in around 5 months. i think today really made me realise how much of a single parent i am. i see now his parenting role in molly's life is always going to be... inadequate. I really missed having a someone to cling to today.

11 comments:

Manda said...

Oh no! So sorry to hear this!! Glad she will be ok. If it's any consolation, my friend's daughter had a febrile seizure a few weeks ago (she is one-and-a-half) and she is completely fine. Hang in there. It sucks that you're on your own. Just sucks. xo from Cali

tiffany said...

sending love and positive energy your way...

Bryn said...

How scary for you! It must have been absolutely horrible! Hope Molly is on the mend and you're able to have a relaxing weekend!

Anonymous said...

How terrifying! I'm happy to hear that she is doing well but sad to hear that this is the first you have heard from him in five months.

Isdanish said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! Know that Molly and you are in my prayers and thoughts. You have been so strong and courageous these few months!

Butternut said...

I just found your blog via msssinglemama. This post hits home for me, and I do feel for you. I have been raising my son on my own since he was 4 months old (he's now 8). His dad moved to the UK (we are in NYC) when he was about 2 yrs old, and their relationship consists of an annual visit about nce every 12-18 months, and a phone call about every 2-3 wks. Although I have only one child, and have luckily not been to the hospital as yet (knock wood!) I have spent many sleepless feverish nights, strep, random scary unknown illnesses, potty training, school crises, etc, all on my own, with no second opinion or shoulder to lean on. It is so hard, and kills me when his dad calls and says 'how's he been?' Really? I always simply answer 'he's fine'. I know it's so fresh, and you have compunded losses, but you are strong and you can do it; you've made it this far. Although I grieve for my son that he dodn't have a father for all these years, I am thankful that he doesn't have that man to look to as an example of what a man should be. Life has better things in store for you, as impossible as it may seem right now. Keep looking ahead.

Anonymous said...

yet another stranger from the land of the internet (via ms single mama via matt logelin) wishing you and molly well! i hope she is home from the hospital and want you to know that you are a great mother. it is hard to be strong on your own but you are doing an amazing job.

Elizabet

ingrid said...

Oh, I can't imagine what your day was like. I'm so sorry to hear this and I hope Molly is okay. Sending you two love from Nova Scotia. xoxo

alli magee said...

just catching up on comments and wanted to thank you all for your concern. molly is doing grand now. she's home safe and sound and i now know how to deal with another convulsion should it happen again. though i really hope it wont!

Anonymous said...

Hope your little girl is feeling better my daughter suffers from convulsions too and I know how scary it must have been. I have read your blog for a while as I am a single mother myself living in Wicklow and it has kept me going on some dark days. Your last few message have really touched me and although we don't know each other know that you are not alone and your strength is a real inspiration.

Anonymous said...

I know how absolutely terrifying it is as my daughter had one when she was a year and a half. She stopped breathing and turned blue and I remember telling the ambulance that I thought she had died. The fear I felt has never really gone away, even these many years later. No-one can understand that feeling unless they have been there. Much love to you.