2 evenings a week

My husband works evenings. We have 2 evenings a week together. Two evenings to put the baby to bed and spend time alone. Two evenings to try and attempt some kind of social life. Two evenings when we actually go to bed together. For any of you thinking about choosing this kind of schedule, I will advice you against it, for the sake of your marriage. It sucks.

It's hard to tell if it's my pregnancy hormones, or the fact that it's Winter, or just plain harsh reality. But my days feel long and difficult. I had really hoped that my blues would have cleared when I got over the 1st trimester fatigue and nausea. But it doesn't seem the case.

When Shane works his night shifts I usually find myself crashed out in front of the tv (aka computer screen) watching some show I don't particularly love (because I want to save the really good ones for watching with Shane, on our two nights a week). The other night it was Desperate Housewives and it was a little scary how much it resonated with me. In one scene Felicity Huffman's character warns a new mother-to-be of the downsides of motherhood. She finished her rant with this:

The worst thing is, over the next 10 years, you will feel so desperately alone, but you will NEVER be alone.

Upon hearing this I took a sharp intake of breath and bit my lip.

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Alternative, more hopeful ending to the post :

Thank goodness for beautiful musings like this, that urge me to embrace this season in my lfie and look up.