I am 30 weeks today, the ten week countdown has begun and to be honest I feel totally and completely overwhelmed! I have just finished reading this wonderful post from FreckleWonder and, as is often the case these days, I have a pile of tear stained kleenex next to me. I just can't quite believe I am going to have a child! I frequently find myself silently shaking my head in disbelief. Overwhelmed - because I can't afford to do a lazy half assed job at this mothering thing, because it is scary for me to think how much I will love this new addition to my family, because I feel exhausted at the thought of how exhausted I am going to be, because I can't believe I have been given such a gift, in spite of all my panicking, I have a deep conviction that this is ridiculously perfect timing and exactly what I needed. phew, that is a lot of 'whelming'!
I am feeling increasingly tired these days, my back ACHES if I stand too long. I feel like I'm 80 years old the way I move about. My ankles and wrists have started to really swell and get uncomfortable. I frequently wake up with heartburn, something I had never ever had till now. And If I hear one more person tell me that they just 'loved being pregnant' and they 'never felt so sexy' I may just strangle them. It isn't that I hate being pregnant, at all, but I certainly don't find it a glowing, ethereal, sensual pleasure. Last week Shane had to console me many times after he'd find me teary in a changing room exclaiming "I can't believe I look like this! who is this person!!". See I have always been such a skinny little runt. It's alarming to suddenly feel.....chunky.
I know that pregnancy can be a billion times worse than this, so I AM thankful that everything is entirely normal and healthy. None-the-less my ever increasing aches remind me that I really need to get my ass in gear and get everything ready for la bebe! Tonight I am going to write myself a biiiiiig long list of things I MUST do in the next few weeks.
I'm spending way too much time online pouring over anything relevant to my current disposition. Enough time researching Alli, lets start doing!
I've become obsessed with finding stylish, kitchy, retrolovin' young mums online. And am frequently glued to the never ending nursery inspiration found at ohdeedoh
Anyway, some doing to be done....
p.s. check out how many deer we had in our front yard yesterday!! :