Overwhelmed.

Folks, I am....trying to find a dramatic enough word to describe how tired I am. How busy. How overwhelmed. I'm moving at the end of the month. there is packing to be done, moving, painting. Molly has chosen to become inexplicably clingy to me and it makes parenting doubly exhausting. And Finch? well he's just the boy who doesn't like to be set down. Ever. He'll be four months soon and I still haven't got a full nights sleep. I know that's to be expected but it doesn't make me any less sleepy.

What's the worst, is that I've become one of those people who always talks about how busy they are, how tired, how they never have time for themselves. I've always hated people like me. Oops.

And when I do get a window to sit and breathe, I find myself just looking at the clock, counting down to when I have to return to my reality. I am a single mother of two children under two. I'm so tired that I feel pissed at everybody, I'm slowly developing a crater on my shoulder because It feels like everyone has it easier than me. Deep down, I know that if we were to truly see everybody's lot in life we'd pick our own every time. But what I know and how I feel are very different.

Rant Over.

Checking In.

There are so many things I want to write about, but alas, I'm having trouble finding time to write. So for now, here is a little photo tour of what we've been up to, please excuse the poor quality of photos, I haven't been able to locate my camera lately (it's probably buried under one of the many mountains of mess building up around me). Thus, these photos are mostly taken with friends Iphones which I frequently hijack.

This perfectly encapsulates the essence of Mr Finch. He is one seriously happy and giggly boy

I recently partook in a little evening with friends which involved some outdoor cinema. It was a magical evening of tasty food, twinkly tea lights, a full moon, and a crackling fire pit. We dragged the sofas outside and got cosy under blankets whilst watching So I Married an Axe Murderer and High Fidelity projected onto the side of a very pretty farmhouse.

Molly and Finch sport their matching pj's. I've never been a big fan of dressing siblings alike. But pj's are different and it's not so tacky considering they are opposing genders.

Molly had her first trip to the zoo. There was a lot of 'wowwww's that day.

...an attempt at a family photo and how I spend a lot of time these days, balancing them both on a knee each. They get along so well, I can barely believe it.

This is where Finch spends a lot of his waking time. I'm probably instilling a bit of a bad habit, he might turn out to be a very clingy toddler after being carried everywhere as a babe. There is rarely a day we don't go out for a walk.

Molly is getting to the age where she can enjoy crafts *excitedly clapping hands!*. Egg box cartons and yogurt pots are at the ready.

Pecha Kucha

So just recently I did a spot of public speaking. To say I was nervous about this would be a bit of an understatement. Pre-speaking anxiety resulted in more than a few nights of interrupted sleep (never mind Mr Finch's night feeds) and one little occasion of rocking back and forth repeating 'I can't do this'. My dread was partly due to the sheer lack of 'me' time I was getting to prepare, but mostly because public speaking turns my knees to jelly and makes my mouth feel like I've been eating fists full of sand. Opinionated - I am, Outspoken - that's me. But throw in some lights, a crowd and a microphone and I'm a mess.

That being said, I survived.

The platform was Pecha Kucha Night in Belfast and the theme was 'Curiosity'. My speech was pretty disjointed and covered three different curious areas:

+ I spoke a little bit on how the process of knitting/sewing had awoke my curiosity in the creative process behind manmade items which hence resulted in my greater appreciation for craftsmanship.

+ Then I lapsed into a little nostalgic rant on how we should really look at things upside down more, Including The World. It really is quite curious.

+ Finally, I closed by distributing my belief that perhaps social networking isn't just sheer 'nosiness' in each others lives but can be a valid tool for healthy curiosity and genuine sharing. Because if

...'Our Greatest Fear and Greatest Desire is to be Known'

...then the fulfillment of our greatest desire depends upon the curiosity of others. Oui, Oui?

Round of applause, thank ya very much. It was a fun experience and It was nice to feel a little bit proud of myself for 'facing my fears' and all that. Altogether, a great night out, the other speakers were both interesting and funny and it's a quirky way to get to know other creatives in your area, kinda like grown up show and tell.