When I went to see La La Land back in October I seemed to take an unconscious vow of silence on the film. With hindsight, I can see that this was because I was living through the decline of a relationship that had started beautifully and yet I knew, deep down, was headed (Spoiler alert) in the very same direction as the denouement of the film
Before I went to see it with friends I promised the boyfriend in question “If it’s good I’ll watch it again with you”. Well it was good, but I was silent about that. There was no way I was going to watch it with him for I knew he’d feel it too. The impending end for us had become the ever present elephant in the room and viewing La La Land together would have been like said elephant consuming the ‘Eat Me’ cake from Alice in Wonderland. No cinema screen could have contained it nor could any relationship have further ignored it. The reality was that someday we both knew we’d be strangers in a bar giving each other a gentle nod of acknowledgement to what had passed and what was not to be.
I knew it fair well and yet I wouldn't let my thoughts linger on it for a second. For another 5 months or so I continued to stomp my feet in defiance of what was inevitable because *stomps feet* this time I wanted that dream sequence ending.
Amidst the plastic, Hollywood ascetic and cheesy tunes – there was something commendably real about La La Land. So real that I can’t say I received it enjoyably. It cut too deep, resonated too much. Now the salt on the wound is that it’s released for consumption in your very own home and I am indeed living the outcome of the film. La La Lump in the throat.
