Yes! It is true! I am knocked up, up the duff, expecting, with child, there is a bun in my oven.
Our embryonic parasite has thus been named 'Smudge'.
It is hard to know where to begin. An important factoid for you to know is that until we realized my 'knocked up' state, we believed we were unable to have children naturally.
We had become pretty content and even happy about that. I have never considered myself a particularly maternal person and I don't really find myself going 'gooey' over the site of babies (although this has already begun to change!). I have surprised myself, and surprised Shane, at how quickly I have adjusted to the idea of being a Mum. We find ourselves talking a lot about what kind of parents we want to be. What we want to pass on. What mistakes we most want to avoid. How we will show our kid our love etc.
I must admit when I first found out, I spent a week completely freaking out about how much weight I was gonna gain, and if I would ever wear a bikini again. I feel I was finally happy with my body and now it was all gonna change! But I am managing to pack my vanity away most of the time and focus on other things. I already feel like most of my clothes don't fit me anymore. I will be pleased when I actually LOOK pregnant and not just like I have a chubby stomach. I'm finding myself wearing a lot of dresses over jeans.
Considering we were certain we couldn't get pregnant without assistance, we have never used birth control and I had no reason to take note of my menstrual cycle etc. Which means that we are pretty clueless at figuring out exactly how pregnant we are. We have our first scan scheduled on the 24th of July so we will have a clearer idea then.
I am finding myself getting incredibly mushy about parent-child relations in movies and we have been collecting some music that has significance for our Smudge.
Here is a mini muxtape playlist with a few of them:
smudge's playlist
(shane has a good wee cry when he hears the track titled 'things').
